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Jokes

Statistical one-liner

  • According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority.
  • A new government 10 year survey cost $3,000,000,000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population.
  • Underwater ship builders are concerned with sub-optimization

Answering machine

  • Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. I'm probably not at home, or not wanting to answer the phone, most probably the latter, according to my latest calculations. Supposing that the universe doesn't end in the next 30 seconds, the odds of which I'm still trying to calculate, you can leave your name, phone number, and message, and I'll probably phone you back. So far the probability of that is about 0.645. Have a nice day
"Chance favors the prepared mind." - Louis Pasteur