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A visitor at the Royal Tyrell Museum asks a museum employee: "Can you tell me how old the skeleton of that T-Rex is?" "It is precisely 60 million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old." "How can you know that with such precision?!" "Well, when I started working here, one of the scientists told me that the skeleton was 60 million years old - and that was precisely three years, two months, and eighteen days ago..."

At a conference, a mathematician proves a theorem. Someone in the audience interrupts him: "That proof must be wrong - I have a counterexample to your theorem." The speaker replies: "I don't care - I have another proof for it."

The mother of already three is pregnant with her fourth child.
One evening, the eldest daughter says to her dad: "Do you know, daddy, what I've found out?"
"The new baby will be Chinese!"
"Yes. I've read in the paper that statistics shows that every fourth child born nowadays is Chinese..."

In a class, a math professor claims that he can prove everything under the assumption that 1+1=1. A student challenges him: "Then prove that you're the pope!" He ponders for a moment and then replies: "I am one, and the pope is one. Therefore, the pope and I are one."

"Chance favors the prepared mind." - Louis Pasteur